The Two Relationship Systems: Attachment
(C.A. Childress, Psy.D., 2011)
Research regarding the neuro-development of the brain during early childhood has identified two primary relationship systems in the brain, one that promotes attachment bonding between the child and parent and the other having to do with forming an inner psychological connection between two people.
The Attachment System
The attachment system was first identified and described in the 1960s by John Bowlby, and it has received considerable research support since that time. The fundamental role of the attachment system is to promote parent-child bonding in order provide the child with protection from predators. The brain networks associated with attachment bonding represent a deeply embedded and strongly resilient relationship system within the brain. This is because the attachment system has a long history of evolutionary development, shaped by the selective targeting of children by predators.
The evolutionary development of brain systems, and particularly the two relationship systems, was shaped within the social context of the child’s being embedded within a broader social community. The human brain operates at both a personal level and within a social context. The emotional, communication, and relationship systems have particular significance for the child’s integrated functioning within this social context.
Within the evolutionary context that shaped the development of the brain’s relationship systems, children are typically kept toward the inner center of the social group, with adults surrounding them in order to provide a ring of adult protection against predators. Meanwhile, the predators that surround the human community are seeking to isolate the old, the weak, and the young as prey.
Within the animal kingdom generally, the children of any species are key targets by predators as prey. It is the consequence of the evolutionary pressure from the selective targeting of children by predators that has led to the development of the attachment system, in order to encourage children’s bonding to parents who will provide children with protection from predators. The basic operation of the attachment system can be seen clearly in non-human prey animals, such as zebras and antelope. When threatened by predators, the young zebra or antelope strives to remain physically close to the mother for protection, while the predator tries to separate the child from the parent. This is the foundational basis of the attachment system’s primary motivational drive; when the attachment system activates the child seeks the proximity and protective involvement of a parent.
In humans, this basic bonding relationship system has increased in its complexity because of the complexity of human neuro-development, particularly regarding language acquisition. The complex neuro-development of the brain in humans requires increased and very subtle social exchanges between the parent and child, and this is particularly true for the acquisition of language in humans. The attachment system in humans is a much more complex relationship system than it is in lower-order animals, but at it’s core the attachment system in children is a deeply embedded, predator-driven relationship system that affords the child with survival advantage.
Since the attachment system is a predator-based system, it is fundamentally an anxiety-based system. When the attachment system is disrupted, the resulting emotional experience for the child is anxiety, expressed as relationship insecurity and a heightened need for parental involvement. Research on the attachment system has identified two broad categories of child attachment bonding, 1) secure attachment, which reflects the healthy psychological-social functioning of the attachment system, and 2) insecure attachment, which represents a disruption to the healthy psychological-social functioning of the attachment system. Additional sub-categories of insecure attachment bonding have further been identified as anxious-avoidant, anxious-ambivalent, and disorganized.
When the attachment system activates, it motivates the child to seek physical closeness to the parent and to obtain the parent’s active involvement. In some cases the child will express this relationship motivation through a direct expression of anxious insecurity, such as the small child who hides behind the parent’s leg when being introduced to a new situation. This directly anxious expression by a small child of a need for parental support and protection typically represents a positive and healthy communication of authentic relationship needs, and it is usually a reflection of a secure attachment bond unless it becomes excessive or is expressed in nearly all situations, even those which should be comfortable and familiar for the child.
The direct expression by a child of authentic emotional needs serves as a healthy foundation for the development of more effective and complex emotional and language communication as the child matures. The developmental progression of this direct communication starts with behavioral communications of the child’s distress and need for parental involvement, moving to emotional signals that communicate more complexity regarding the child’s need, culminating in socially appropriate verbal descriptions of the child’s inner emotional need state. This progression from behavioral signaling, through emotional signaling, into complex language communication is the goal of child development.
Indirect behavioral expressions of the anxiety associated with an activated attachment system will involve behaviors that elicit parental involvement but that only indirectly express the anxious origins of the relationship needs. A child who expresses relationship needs indirectly may gain increased parental involvement through any variety of behavioral signals, such as being too loud, too active, defiant and non-cooperative, demanding and needy. Behaviors that elicit parental involvement are called “protest behaviors” and the important relationship role of protest behaviors will be addressed in a separate post.
Since the attachment system is an anxiety based system, disruptions to the attachment system will often produce anxiety related problems in the ability to maintain attentional focus. When we commit attentional focus to an activity we lose track of our surroundings. Since children are a selectively targeted prey animal of predators, such a loss of attentional sensitivity can be dangerous for children. The only way the emotional-relationship systems of the brain will allow children to commit their focused attention to an activity is if the child feels securely attached to a capable and competent parent who is watchful and engaged with the child. If the child feels secure in the parent-child relationship and the child’s attachment needs are quiet, then the child’s brain inhibits anxiety and will allow the child to commit his or her attentional focus to play or work activities. If, however, the child’s attachment needs are active, the child will instead be motivated to seek parental closeness and involvement. Relationship needs will always take precedence over the other motivational agendas of play or work.
If attachment needs are active, the child’s attention system will begin to scan the environment for potential threat. This attentional scanning for potential threat will prevent the focused attention necessary for commitment to work or play activities. The child’s play activity will become superficial, moving from activity to activity, and the child may not be able to sustain attentional focus on work-related activities, such as schoolwork. This is typically described as the child bein inattentive or distractible. Instead, the child will likely begin to emit protest signals that elicit increased parental (or teacher) involvement, such as creating an argument with a sibling or talking with other children during a quiet classroom activity.
The anxiety associated with an activated attachment system will also activate the child’s arousal system in preparation for a potential fight-or-flight response. This arousal activation reveals itself through a generalized behavioral restlessness and heightened activity level. The child may fidget, squirm, poke his or her sibling, bang items on the table, run around, jump, and just generally have difficulty remaining quiet and subdued. This heightened arousal and generalized behavioral restlessness can be especially problematic in classroom settings requiring the child to sit quietly and focus on schoolwork, especially in association with the disruptions to attentional focus.
The increased behavioral activity generally draws increased parent or teacher involvement, which is the goal of the attachment system activation. However, this increased parent or teacher involvement is generally in the form of angry annoyance that communicates interpersonal rejection (this will be described more fully in the discussion of the emotional system) and angry responses tend not to promote more secure attachment bonding.
So while parents and teachers employ behavioral control methods that seek to limit the child’s overt expressions of heightened arousal and behavioral restlessness, and that seek to motivate the child toward focused attention to the task-at-hand, unless the underlying relationship needs associated with an activated attachment system are successfully addressed, the behavioral control methods are likely to be ineffective in achieving the desired attentional focus, behavioral quietness, and social cooperation we seek.
In addition, an activated anxiety system in response to an activated attachment system will motivate the child toward increased social involvement. Anxiety seeks protection, and for humans protection is found in the social group. When we are anxious we become more social, we seek social affiliation and social bonding. This is especially true for children. An isolated child is vulnerable to predation. A child who is deeply embedded within the social community and who has the active social attention and involvement of others is safer. An activated attachment system motivates the child toward social affiliation. The child becomes more talkative.
An activated attachment system therefore produces a three-part set of symptoms:
1) A diminished capacity to maintain attentional focus
2) An increase in arousal and behavioral restlessness
3) A desire for increased social affiliation
When expressed, this set of behavioral symptoms will draw parental and teacher involvement, which is the goal of the attachment system. These symptoms become particularly evident with schoolwork. In the classroom, the child will have difficulty attending to quiet desk work, will not focus attention on the reading or worksheet assignment, will make noises associated with behavioral restlessness such as tapping pencils, will constantly be getting out of his or her seat to get something or go somewhere, and will be continually seeking social affiliation by talking to other children. At home, the child will not do homework independently and will require the constant involvement of the parent to prompt continued focus on completing the homework, the child will continually display behavioral restlessness directed toward activities other than homework such as playing with items on the table, and the child will display an increased need for social affiliation by engaging in or provoking sibling arguments and requiring active parental involvement with the homework activity to ensure its completion.
But the attachment system is only one of two Relationship Systems, and breakdowns in either system will produce the anxiety related symptoms described above. The attachment system is fairly resilient and resistant to significant disruption. The other system, however, for psychological connection, is much more fragile and much more easily disrupted. Understanding the role, functioning, and dysfunctioning of the psychological connection system is key to understanding and intervening with many of the child “behavior problems” faced in the home and at school, including Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and angry-oppositional-demanding child behavior.
